- Tuesday, January 22, 2008
- I’m no misogynist, but …
- Posted by Zach in News
-
Because we’re preparing to reinvent our blog, it’s difficult to keep contributing to this one. If I think of a good idea, I pretty much stockpile it for the new one. Still, some of you (four or five of you) are kind enough to check the blog regularly, and we should honor your faithfulness with some updates. How can I update this blog without cannibalizing our new one? Easy. No more good posts. Only fourth rate posts! There will be plenty of time to be thoughtful and intentional on the new blog.
I searched the World Wide Web for some writer’s block solutions. I found that Writer’s Block sites are EFFEMINATE. The layouts use colors like “lavender” and “tuscan dust.” They’re infected with cutsey fonts and exclamation points. And they aren’t entirely helpful. Here’s an example:
(In a cutesey-san-serif-simulated-elementary-school-teacher’s-handwriting-font) Setting for your story: at Harvard
Starting phrase for your story: I never expected to find …
“I never expected to find myself at Harvard. The End.”
Now I’m not a misogynist, I like my fair share of women writers. Jane Austen is good and Kate DiCamillo, and I’m sure there are others. But the sheer-Oprah-ness of the female conversation on creativity gives me cavities. Thanks to the Oprah-nization of writing, some words are becoming the sole property of cat-loving-elementary-school-guidance-counselors-types : Garden, Reflective, Soulful, Cafe, Enchantment, Passionate, Solace, Pasture, Imagination, Inner Voice, Soy.
All of this makes me want to rage against the estrogen. Where are the masculine writer’s block sites?
Setting: Dungeon.
Starting phrase for your story: Armed only with my bare hands and burning anger …
Come on! That story writes itself!
Setting: Scrap Book convention.
Starting phrase for your story: Armed only with my bare hands and a burning anger …
I’ve got a million of ‘em!
Listen, if you’re looking to put up a website, and you think all the niches are filled, think again. The world wide web is calling for a masculine creativity site that is less concerned with sharing than doing. Something that doesn’t try to coax good ideas out of you. Something that says, “You’re lazy! Now write!”
categories
Ben
Cory
Justin
Matt
Zachpast articles
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- March 2007
- January 2007
- November 2006
- October 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- February 2006
7 Responses to “I’m no misogynist, but …”
Mr. Zachary Tungsten Franzen,
I like your style. We should totally hang out sometime and pump some iron. That means lifting weights.
Bye bye.
Sincerely,
Sure thing, Mr. Schwarzenegger
“cat-loving-elementary-school-guidance-counselors-type???” i take offense to that. not all such aforementioned types cling to enchanted lavendar soy or passionate tuscan cafe’s.
however, i will still bake you some treats.
Hurray!
Caution! Be careful with any statements against cats, however roundabout! Not only are they particularly perspicacious mammals who instinctively know when they are being insulted, but people may begin to suspect that you have the desire to take over the world. This tendency, coupled with dislike of cats, was shared by Napolean Buonaparte, Alexander the Great, and Adolph Hitler! (That’s worth 2 cents, at least.)
Rage against estrogen, eh? So, um… the problem here is that women are “sharing” not “doing”? –yet you can’t find any websites for writer’s block written by men? I think that clearly shows that the woman are “doing” and the men are sitting stumped at their desks, cursing women, their own lack of ideas, and anything else that hints of a colour palette other than Blue Green Red.
If sharing is effeminate, then let’s just scrap the web.
** Boldly waving my Feminist banner** ; )
Thanks for sharing!