Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Half Heartedness and Self Preservation

Posted by Zach in News

When I was in seventh grade, I sat around with some other kids and discussed report cards. Three of the kids in the group revealed some pretty awful grades. In order to ward off any misunderstandings, one said, “It’s not because I’m stupid. It’s because I don’t try.” The other two quickly confirmed that they didn’t try either. The point was, it’s better to fail and not try than to try and fail. If in a poker game you fold before you see your cards, you can always fancy that you had the winning hand.

I’m not sure if you can see the details of this picture. This kid’s science project consists of six sheets of white notebook paper fastened with packing tape to a piece of white poster board. It is worth noting that three of the six sheets of paper contain the project’s prestigious title: “PLANTS [one sheet] AND [one sheet] POP [one sheet].” Not to be unfair, he also has two plants in baskets and a big bottle of Mountain Dew.

What makes this picture interesting to me is it’s paradox of defiant passivity–the sloppy crooked papers, the bad tape job, the remarkable lack of information, heck, the kid can’t even muster the enthusiasm to hold his head up. One would think that he is gloriously free from the burden of approval, but the exact opposite is true. In order to preserve his ego, he has to make sure that you know he didn’t try. The project’s failure is indisputable. He has to persuade you that it was intentional.

Willfull failure as a means of self-preservation extends beyond science fairs. Guiseppe Tornatore explores this a little in his deeply sentimental film Cinema Paradiso. Alfredo, the old blind projectionist tells Salvatore a story of a soldier who fell in love with Basta the Princess. Moved by the depth of the soldier’s love, Basta told him that she would be his if he would wait for her beneath her balcony for 100 days and nights. The soldier agreed, and day after day he sat beneath her balcony, enduring the onslaught of nature. Alfredo says, “After ninety nights he was gaunt and pale and tears streamed from his eyes but he couldn’t hold them back. he didn’t even have the strength to sleep any more. The princess kept watch … And on the ninety-ninth night, the soldier got up, picked up his chair and left!”

Suprised, Salvatore cries, “No! You mean right at the end?”

Alfredo says, “That’s right, Toto, right at the end. And don’t ask me what it means. If you figure it out, let me know.”

Later in the film, Salvatore confides, “… I understand why the soldier went away just before the end. That’s right, just one night and the princess would have been his. But she, also, could not have kept her promise. And … that would have been terrible, he would have died from it. So instead, for ninety-nine nights at least he had lived with the illusion that she was there waiting for him.”

The preference for self-deception over reality is ultimately folded into the worship of self. Instead of changing ourselves so that we can better treasure the people and world around us, we seek to change our perception of the people and world around us so that we can better treasure ourselves.

Still, it’s a bummer when after a long absence we reacquaint ourselves with the person we once thought was our soul mate. After a few hours conversation the horrible thought creeps into our head, “They’re sort of annoying.” The retroactive gloom that infects all of our old feelings makes us wonder if it really wouldn’t have been better for the person to stay imprisoned in our memory.

It’s at this moment–the moment when we’d prefer to retreat into delusion–This is when we need the courage of Teddy Roosevelt. The courage to be the one ” … whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Rock on!

If Teddy Roosevelt were alive today, I’m sure he’d say to this kid, “If I can give a speech with an oozing undressed bullet hole in my chest, you can whip up the enthusiasm to create a more respectable Plants and Pop project. Now stand up straight and dare greatly.”

categories

• Art
• Beowulf
• Friday Post
• News
• Stories
• Teddy Roosevelt
• Top Ten
• Videos

contributors

• Ben

• Cory

• Justin

• Matt

• Zach